


Love like no other

by Tyler_Val



Category: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love, Love Triangle, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, insecure, long lost lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler_Val/pseuds/Tyler_Val
Summary: "You may think you are not perfect but Daniel you are perfect to me."





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing here so yeah

"Daniel..."  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around, it was very dark. There is no light in this place, only darkness. I can feel my anxiety rising and just then I saw a figure moved pass me, I am not sure whether it is a human that I saw or an entity. Only later my question was answered, suddenly there was a shimmering blue light. An entity appeared in front of me.   
  
"Daniel...can you hear me?"  
  
I hesitated. I don't know whether I should respond to that but my curiosity to know what will happen got the better of me. I responded, “Yes I can, may I know who you are?" Since there was light, I could see the entity frown. It was as if it was offended by my question. Nonetheless, the entity responded, “I am what you call The Shadow who is the guardian of the orb." Flashbacks of the nightmares that I have are playing in my mind and the corpse of Doctor Tate flashed in my mind, I can't help but think The Shadow have something to do with it. I am not sure whether I could maybe ask The Shadow about it, I am afraid of angering it but given by my curious nature I questioned, “Are you The Shadow in my nightmares? Did you kill Doctor Tate?"  
  
The entity smirked and suddenly there was a man standing in front of me. The man is still smirking and the man replied, "Yes I am The Shadow, I am trying to communicate with you after you took the orb. I found that the only way I can speak to you is through your dreams like what I am doing now and yes I killed Doctor Tate.” I asked, “Why? Why did you do that?" The Shadow snarled, "Why? It is simply because he is touching what's mine! Can't you see Daniel? You are as precious as the orbs I guard and I will do anything in my power to make sure no one tries to take what's mine." I looked at him with a puzzled look and said, "Why would you want me? I am just any other average looking man."  
  
The Shadow shook his head sadly and said, “Why do you think so lowly of yourself Daniel? Can’t you see? To me you are perfect in every way.” I blushed and said, “The Shadow, I am afrai-” The Shadow said, “Just call me Shadow.” I nodded my head and continued, “Shadow, I’m sorry I am not what you think I am…” Shadow asked, “And why is that so?” I sighed and said, “I am not perfect, I am not good looking. Shadow you are just wasting your time on me, I’m not worth it so please stop looking for me. I could give you back the orb that you want.” Shadow glared at me and bellowed, “I don’t want the orb! I want you and only you, why can’t you understand that you are perfect to me? Why can’t you understand you are worth more than the orbs?”  
  
I cried. Tears formed in my eyes and they began flowing down my cheeks, I said with tears in my eyes, “I’m so sorry…I feel that I am not good enough for you…” Shadow’s features soften and he wrapped his arms around me, he said, “Daniel, you are perfect to me and that is all that matters…I will make sure you know that. Please give me a chance, I want to-” I hugged him back and said, “I will give you a chance but I won’t promise you that I would fall in love with you.” Shadow sighed and said, “Giving me a chance is already enough, you falling in love with me is a bonus for me. Nonetheless, I will make you fall in love with me.”  
  
With that I woke up with a startled, I turned and saw a man lying beside me sleeping soundly and his arms are around me, I touched my cheeks to find it damp. I then looked closely at the man, I was shocked. The dream…it’s real. I slowly lifted Shadow’s arms but the arms wrapped around me tighter, I sighed and went back to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.  
> -Helen Keller

“Daniel wake up, it’s time for breakfast.”  
  
My eyes fluttered open, Shadow stood beside my bed holding a tray with a plate with two pancakes and a fork. I sat up and Shadow said, “Daniel I hope you have rested well, here’s your breakfast. Eat up, I know you must be hungry.” I smiled at Shadow and said, “Thank you so much, it looks delicious.” Shadow returned the smile and said, “Please go ahead and give it a taste.”  
  
I took the tray and rested it on my lap, I took the fork and slowly cut a small slice of the pancake and ate it. It taste marvelous, I can’t help but moan. Shadow smirked and said, “That good?” I blushed and said, “Hey it taste good alright?” Shadow laughed and said, “Alright I’ll leave you alone to enjoy your breakfast, once you are done please look for me in the living room.” With that said, Shadow left my room and closed the door behind him.  
  
When I was about to eat, a voice in my head said, “The more you eat the fatter you’ll get and Shadow won’t love you anymore, not like he loves you or something.” I ignored the voice and continued eating, the voice in my head sneered, “Are you sure you still want to continue eating? I mean just look at you, you are already ugly and by the amount of food you consume you are going to be fat and no one will want you.” I sighed and stopped eating. I took the tray and went to the kitchen to throw the pancakes into the bin.  
  
 “Daniel what are you doing?”  
  
I turned around to see Shadow crossing his arms and glaring at me, he slowly walked towards me with his arms still crossed. “Daniel may I know what you were doing just now?” he asked with a dangerous edge in his voice. I gulped and said, “I was…I was cleaning the kitchen.” Shadow looked at me skeptically and asked, “Are you sure?” I nodded my head meekly, Shadow pushed me aside without another word. After looking at what was in the bin, Shadow turned around to face me. Shadow clenched his fists and seethed, “I spent a lot of time trying to make those pancakes for you and you just throw them away like that? How dare you!” Before I could apologize, Shadow jabbed my chest and said curtly, “You have one minute to explain yourself young man.” I sighed and said, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to throw the pancakes away…” Shadow glared at me and said, “Then why did you do it!”  
  
“It is because I feel that the more I eat the fatter I’ll get. I’m already ugly, I don’t want to be obese too!” I blurted out. Just when Shadow was about to say something, I interrupted, “I know you won’t want me nor love me because I am not good looking, talented, smart, and brave. I’m so sorry that I’m not good enough for you.” I started crying and no matter how hard I try I just couldn’t stop crying, uncontrollable tears rolled down my cheeks. Shadow unclenched his fists and his features softened, he slowly walked towards me and engulfed me in a hug.  
  
“Daniel you don’t have smart, talented, good looking or brave to be good enough for me. Just you being yourself is already enough to make me fall in love with you over and over again.” Shadow said gently. I did not say anything, I just wrapped my arms around Shadow. We just stood there in each other’s arms, our hearts beating as one.  
                                                                                                             

* * *

After spending a long time in my library reading to Shadow, Shadow asked, “Have you read to some before?” I looked at Shadow and said, “Yes, how did you know?” Shadow explained, “Well your voice when you read is like you are trying to captive an audience.” I smiled at Shadow and said, “Before my younger sister Hazel passed away due to illness, I used to read fairytales, tell her stories about what I saw or learnt during my archaeological expeditions.” Shadow apologized, “My condolences, I’m sorry I shouldn't have mentioned about it.” I shook my head and said sadly, “It’s fine, it is just that I missed her. Ever since she passed away, I gave up being an archeologist as each expeditions I went it reminded me of Hazel.”  
  
Shadow made no comment but he just hugged me, I hugged him back and cried. I miss my sister so much, I wish she was still alive and well. I can read stories to her every day, we can even travel around the world together and make new discoveries together. I will do anything and give up anything just for my sister to be here with me now, she is the only one in the family whom I am close to and love. Hazel is the light to my darkness and without her by my side, there will only and always be darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is like the wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it.  
> -Nicholas Sparks

“Daniel wake up, here’s your breakfast.”  
  
I woke up and saw Shadow sitting beside me holding a tray, once I sat up he passed me the tray. Shadow said sternly, “I am going to sit beside you and make sure you eat, I don’t want you to be starving yourself.” I sighed and said, “Fine I will eat, anyways it is not like you care about me or something.” Shadow crossed his arms and glared at me, he snapped, “I do care about you Daniel! Or else why would I bother waking up earlier to make breakfast for you?” I narrowed my eyes and snapped back, “Stop pretending, I know you don’t care about me. All you want is the orb back, I can give it back to you.”  
  
I placed the tray away and went to take the orb from my drawing room, I came back to my room and yelled, “Here you can have your orb back! Take it!” I thrust the orb into Shadow’s hands, Shadow threw the orb on the ground in anger. Shadow bellowed, “I don’t want it! I want you Daniel, I want you to love me the way I love you.” Shadow voice trembled, “Why can’t you see? I love you more than anything.” Shadow started crying, he sniffed and said, “Daniel I love you but I don’t know whether you love me the way I do.”  
  
I hesitated. I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t sure whether I love Shadow the way he loves me so I kept quiet, this however made Shadow more agitated. Shadow shook my shoulders vigorously and pleaded, “Daniel say something, anything would be sufficient. Please say something…” I just took a deep breath before saying, “I’m sorry Shadow I don’t love you that way yet,” I saw a glimmer of hope in Shadow’s eyes, Shadow smiled with still tears in his eyes. I smiled back at him and hugged him tightly, I said, “Shadow please don’t give up on me, I’ll love you the way you love me one day.” Shadow pulled away from me and shook his head. Shadow said, “I had never gave up on you.”  
                                                                                                           

* * *

Shadow made dinner for just the two of us, I squealed, “I can’t wait to taste it!” Shadow laughed and said, “Have a little patience my love, good things come to those who wait.” He winked at me and continued cooking, I blushed. After a while, Shadow is done cooking. He placed plates of food on the dining table, once he is done he sat down and we began to dig in. Shadow made no attempt to start a conversation, we just sat there concentrating on having our dinner. The silence is deafening, I decided I had enough so I asked, “Do you have a family Shadow? Like any sisters or brothers?” Shadow looks a bit shocked that I had asked him this question, can’t blame me though I am born with a curious nature. The need to ask a question is always in me, though sometimes it offends people.  
  
When Shadow did not reply, I panicked. Did I offend him? Should I apologize? But if I did apologize, will it be awkward? I just shook away my doubts and just apologized by saying, “I’m sorry Shadow, and I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I’m just curious because you never seem to mention anything about yourself.” Shadow laughed and said, “No Daniel you didn’t offend me, I’m just shocked that you asked. The first time I saw you I just know you have a curious nature, you are bound to ask questions about anything that you think of it is just the matter of when.”  
  
I looked away in embarrassment, I said sheepishly, “I’m sorry I just can’t help it, some people said I am too curious for my own good.” Shadow said, “No it’s fine, it is actually one of the traits that I love about you. You are inquisitive and not afraid to ask anything.” Shadow paused before continuing, “And to answer your question, no I do not have a family.” I widened my eyes and exclaimed, “How could you not have a family? I thought everyone would have a family.” Shadow sighed and said, “Sometimes I wonder what is like having a family but deep down in my heart I know it will never happen, unlike me you have someone who loves you which is your sister and I know you love her too.”  
  
I assured, “Shadow don’t worry, and someone will love you. You just have to wait and see, as you had said to me, good things comes to those who wait.” Shadow smiled and said, “We’ll see about that shall we? Now before the food turns cold, let’s feast.” With that said we both continued having our dinner, letting the silence take over.  
  
After having our dinner, I was about to take my plate and go to the kitchen to wash it but Shadow said, “Let me wash it for you Daniel, you can go do whatever you want.” I protested, “No, let’s wash the dishes together.” Shadow grinned and said, “Sure why not?”  
  
Both of us headed to the kitchen basin with the dishes that are filthy, we talked while washing the dishes one by one. We splashed water at each other and I squeezed the sponge on Shadow’s head, Shadow glared at me playfully and did the same to me. Both of us laughed at how childish we are right now, little do I know that is the start of something. A start of something new. However at that time I paid little attention to it, I only focused on how much fun I had by just washing the dishes with Shadow. I had never laugh so hard for such a long time ever since Hazel passed away, I wish everyday was just like this but I know it will never happen again. Hence, I will cherish this moment right here and then.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We all make mistakes, everybody should be given a second chance. "  
> -Lailah Gifty Akita

I was awakened by the sound of knocking on my front door, I opened the door to see a man standing there. I asked, "Who are you?" The man said incredulously, "Daniel did you really forget who I am or are you just acting stupid?" I frowned and said, "I really don't know who you are." The man shook his head and mumbled, "I should have known this would happen." I inquired, "Who are you and how did you know my name?" The man sighed, "I am Alexander the baron of Castle Brennenburg. The reason why I know your name is because you aided me in harvesting vitae." I was puzzled, I denied, "I never met you before in my life, you have gotten the wrong person."

Alexander shook his head and said, "No I didn't, Daniel what made you forget me?" I scowled, "I don't what you are talking about but I'm very sure I had never met you." Alexander protested, "You have met me before, Daniel." I glared at him and yelled, "I know perfectly well that I have never ever met you before so stop bothering me." Just when Alexander was about to say something, two warm arms are wrapped around me protectively. I looked up to see Shadow glaring at Alexander, Shadow asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"

Alexander smirked and said, "I assume that is your new lover isn't it Daniel?" I shook my head and said, "No Alexander he isn't, at least not now." Shadow warned, "Alexander if you don't leave now, I'll make sure you regret stepping foot here." Alexander sighed and said, "Fine, I'll go." With that said he sauntered away, Shadow released his grip on me after making sure Alexander is far away.

I turned around to see Shadow with his arms crossed, he said, "Could you explain what that commotion was about?" I shrugged and said, "I'm not sure who he is, he insisted that I have met him before and have aided him in harvesting vitae, quite absurd to be honest." Shadow asked, "Did he say anything to you besides that?" I nodded my head and said, "He said that he is Alexander, the baron of Castle Brennenburg." Shadow looks like he was going to say something but he just shook his head and said, "Don't worry about it Daniel, Alexander is probably sprouting nonsense." Shadow then changed the topic and asked whether I am hungry or not, I shook my head and retreated back to my study room.

I took my journal from my bookshelf and read each and every page, to my astonishment Alexander was right. I did meet him before but why don't I have any recollection of it? Did all of these things that I wrote down in my journal happen? Maybe I should have asked Alexander more instead of arguing with him. When I realized what I have suggested, I mentally slapped myself. Who should I ask besides Alexander? I began to flip through my journal. I scrutinize every word to come up with people who could possibly know what happened but to no avail. I sighed. Looks like the only option I have is to ask Alexander, I flipped my journal and found out where Castle Brennenburg is, it is located in Prussia.

I searched high and low for a map to Castle Brennenburg and I found it lying around at a corner of the third column of my bookshelf. I took my journal, map and headed to my room. I packed some clothes after that I placed my journal into my bag and using the map I have I headed to Castle Brennenburg. Just when I was going out, Shadow stopped me and asked, "Where are you going, Daniel?" I lied, "I am just going out for a walk, I'll be back soon." I quickly walked out to avoid being questioned further.  
                                                                                                 

* * *

I soon reached Castle Brennenburg, it is not what I expected it to be. It is cold and gloomy, there isn't a single soul living around here. I knocked on the castle doors, after a while the castle doors opened. Alexander smiled and asked, "Why did you come here, Daniel?" I fiddled with my fingers and said, "Well I...I wanted to know more about my time here with you, you are right I did help you and I have met you before." Alexander gestured for me to come in, I hesitated before following him.

After I went in, the door closed behind me. I followed Alexander along closely as I am afraid of losing my way, after walking for a while, Alexander stopped in front of a room. He said, "This used to be a guest room but after you moved in, this became your room." Alexander entered the room, I followed him in. Alexander asked, "Do you remember anything?" I shook my head, Alexander said firmly, "Concentrate Daniel, I'm sure you can remember something."

I tuned out whatever thoughts are in my mind and concentrated, soon a memory began to unfold.

 _*Flashback*_  
_I tossed and turned in bed, Alexander walked into my room and said, "It's time to wake up Daniel." I instantly jolted awake, I exclaimed, "What it is?" Alexander smiled and asked, "Still having nightmares I see." I sighed, "Yes they come every night." Alexander promised, "We'll put an end to it, you'll see."_  
_*End of flashback*_

I opened my eyes to see Alexander looking at me intently, I nodded my head and said, "Yes I remembered something, you woke me up and promised me that my nightmares will end." Alexander grinned and said, "Yes I did, moving on." Alexander then brought me to various rooms, I remembered what events took place in those rooms. However, as Alexander led me into the inner sanctum, I suddenly collapsed. Memories of the past flashed in my mind rapidly, I woke up after passing out for quite some time.

When Alexander was about to ask what happen, I cried, "I'm a monster..." Alexander shook my shoulders and asked, "Daniel what on earth are you blabbering about, what happened? Did you remember something?" I sniffed, "I remembered everything...everything that I have done to those innocent people." Alexander hugged me and said, "It's not your fault Daniel, it's mine." I shook my head in dismay, I said, "No, it's mine." Alexander sighed and said, "It's my fault, Daniel, I manipulated you into doing all these indecent deeds because I wanted to go home so badly."

I protested, "I could have said no, but I chose to agree to do it. I couldn't take those nightmares anymore." Alexander pulled away from me and said, "Daniel it is all my fault, I shouldn't have lied to you and made you do all those things just for my own gain." Alexander looked at me straight in the eye with tears in his eyes, he said, "Daniel I know you will never forgive me and I know saying sorry isn't enough, so please let me make it up to you."

I thought about it for a while, I nodded my head and said, "I'll give you a chance to make it up to me." Alexander widened his eyes and said, "Really? That's great but why would you want to give me a chance? After everything that I had made you do." I smiled and said simply, "Everyone deserves a second chance."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is an endless act of forgiveness.   
> Forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me.”  
> -Beyoncé

Alexander asked me to stay, I nodded my head. Alexander led me to the room that I had stayed in long time ago, Alexander then said, “Please make yourself at home.” I nodded my head, with that he left the room. I opened my bag and took out my journal, I sat down on my bed and started reading.  
  
_October 1840_  
  
_I arrived at Castle Brennenburg, the baron, Alexander greeted me and told me, “You are just in time.” Just in time for what? At that time I didn’t think much about it, I just smile and greeted Alexander. Alexander led me down to the corridors of the Castle, I was appalled by the sight of the maleficent corridors. Alexander led me to a guest room, the room looks exquisite and I only just got here but I already have such a nice room, I feel like I’m being spoiled._  
  
_Alexander then told me to make myself at home and left the room, giving me some privacy. I unpacked my clothes and placed them all in the closet, I then explored the room. Every inch of the room is perfect, the sunlight penetrated through the windows. I closed the curtains as the sunlight was glaring, after doing so I lied down on my bed and went to sleep._  
  
_I was soon plagued with the same nightmare I had back in Mayfair, a voice from the void calling out my name and it send chills down my spine every time. I really hope coming to Castle Brennenburg was the right choice and that Alexander really means what he said._  
  
I felt like reading another journal entry but I was exhausted after the long trip from my home to Castle Brennenburg, this also reminds me of the events that is mentioned in the journal entry I just read. I stood up and unzipped my bag, I took out one of my pajamas. After changing into my pajamas, I lied down on my bed and fell asleep. A dream started to form, Shadow appeared in front of me and asked, “Daniel where are you?” I looked at him and asked, “How did you do this..?” Shadow smiled and said, “Well after you touched the orb, it belongs to you. This means I am bind to you and you are bind to me.” I shook my head and said, “I don’t understand how that time you could teleport next to me.” Shadow sighed and said, “That is because I used all my magic that time, but now I need to recharge before I can use my magic again so I can’t teleport next to you. If only the orb is still with you, it would have made things easier, now Daniel please tell me where you are, I’m worried about you.” I hesitated. Should I tell him? What if he is mad after finding out I am staying at Castle Brennenburg with Alexander? I simply said, “I can’t tell you where I am but don’t worry I’m safe, I just had things I need to accomplish. I will come back home soon, alright?”  
  
Shadow refused, “No, Daniel please at least tell me where you are.” I said nothing. Shadow pleaded, “Please Daniel, what if you are in trouble? I won’t be able to save you if I don’t know where you are.” I thought about it for quite a while before giving in, I said, “I am at Castle Brennenburg.” At the mention of Castle Brennenburg, Shadow’s breathing became erratic, he looks very enraged. Shadow said angrily, “Why are you there with that horrid man? You come back now or else I’ll go there personally to look for you!” I grabbed both of Shadow’s hands and said, “No Shadow you don’t have to, he had changed into someone better. You don’t have to worry, I am just staying for a while-”  
  
Shadow let go of my hands and yelled, “No! Just finish whatever you want there and come back home, I don’t want you hanging around with that kind of wicked man!” I sighed and said, “Shadow how many times do I have to tell you? He has changed, he is not that wicked man he was long time ago.” Shadow let out a frustrated groan and said, “Daniel you are too naive for your own good, he is still the same man as he is long time ago.” I protested, “No he isn’t, he has really changed. He even asked for forgiveness and I already forgave him.” Shadow sighed, “Oh Daniel if only you hadn’t done that stunt, you will still be able to remember everything that Alexander had put you through, maybe you won’t even want to go back to him.”  
  
I laughed and said, “I already remembered everything, I drank the amnesia mixture to forget the monster I had become. I know what he had put me through, a sorry won’t be sufficient and that is why I stayed at Castle Brennenburg as he said he wanted to make it up to me.” Shadow asked, “Well you just let him “make it up for you”? Don’t you want revenge?” I shook my head and said, “No I’m going to give him a second chance.” With that said I woke up, breaking the dream apart. I saw Alexander standing beside my bed and he was smiling intently at me, he asked, “Are you still having any nightmares Daniel?” I shook my head and said, “No but thank you for your concern.”  
                                                              

* * *

Alexander asked, “So how are you Daniel?” I said, “I’m fine, how about you?” Alexander sighed and said, “I feel guilty of the things I made you went through and the horrible things I made you do for my own gain.” I suddenly remembered something, I asked, “Well didn’t you go back home? Why are you still here?” Alexander shook his head and said, “Well you and Shadow stopped the ritual before the portal even opened.” Alexander stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me, he apologized, “I’m sorry about the things I have done, I shouldn’t have dragged you in. You would have still been an innocent man.”  
  
I just shook my head and said sadly, “It is fine what has happened already happened, saying sorry won’t redo everything.” Alexander sighed and said, “I know…whatever I do now to make it up to you won’t fix the past, I don’t understand why you would even forgive me. Don’t you want revenge? I mean after all the things I made you went through.” I shook my head and said, “Forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for you hurting me, after all everyone deserves a second chance.” I saw tears forming in Alexander’s eyes, he smiled at me and hugged me tightly. I slowly hugged him back, both of us stood there in each other’s arms, heart beats as one.  
  
After a while, both of us pulled away from the hug. Alexander sniffed and said, “Daniel I love you so much Daniel, do you remember us?” A memory started to form in my mind…  
  
_Flashback_  
  
_“Wake up my love.” Alexander said to me. I woke up to see Alexander smiling brightly at me, I smiled back at him. I love everything about him, his smile, his ability to make me smile, his presence always makes me feel relaxed. I ran straight into his welcoming arms, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. Soon two warm arms are wrapped around my waist, I felt so warm it’s like my body is on fire._  
  
_Alexander pulled away and I did the same, Alexander lowered his mouth and it met mine. At first his kisses are soft and passionate, but overtime it became aggressive and hungry. I kissed him back with the same passion and hunger, he slowly deepened the kiss. I moaned into his mouth, he pushed me down on my bed without pulling away from the kiss. He unbuttoned my shirt and kissed my exposed skin, his hands were all over me, and my body was reacting to his every touch and every kiss. Just when he was about to unzip my pants, I said, “I’m not ready yet.” Alexander said, “It’s alright, we have all the time in the world my love.” With that said, he continued kissing me._  
  
_End of flashback_  
  
I blushed. Alexander laughed and said, “You remembered! But don’t worry Daniel there is nothing to be ashamed of, just think of it as lovers spending time with each other and also getting intimate.” I asked, “Did I really uh you know got into a relationship with you?” Alexander nodded his head and said, “Yes you did, you love me as much as I love you. I still love you till now but I am not sure you love me now.” I suddenly remembered that Shadow loves me too, I groaned in frustration, “Shadow loves me you and now you? I’m going to have a hard time knowing who to love and be with for the rest of my life.” Alexander grinned at me and said, “You’ll figure that out soon Daniel.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't find love, let love find you.  
> That's why it’s called falling in love,  
> because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.  
> -Hannah

I tossed and turned, I can’t sleep after what Alexander said to me. Two people falling in love with me at once? Oh please, give me a break. How am I supposed to know who I should be with and love? This is frustrating, I hope someone can help me with this but who? I got up as I gave up trying to fall asleep, I walked towards where my bag was. I opened my bag and took out my journal, I flipped to the next journal entry.  
  
_October 1850_  
  
_As much as I know those people who I am killing are, according to Alexander, criminals, I can't help but feel guilty. I couldn’t refuse Alexander as I know he is trying to help me, all I can do to repay him is to comply and not complain. After all who would go an extra mile just to help me? After every man or woman I killed, I can’t sleep at night._  
  
_The screams of the victims haunt me, the pain I had inflicted on them can be felt. I can’t take it anymore, I am afraid that one day I’ll lose myself completely. Maybe I will even become some deranged person, who knows? But Alexander said doing all these can harvest vitae which are needed in the rituals to banish the Shadow, I just hope all these will end soon…_  
  
I shook my head. How could I be so naive? If only I wasn’t maybe none of this would have happened, it is all my fault. Whatever that has happened has already happened, no point in blaming myself. Just when I was about to flip to the next journal entry I heard knocking on the door, I put my journal back into my bag and opened the door. It was from Alexander.  
  
“How are you, Daniel? Why aren’t you asleep yet?” Alexander asked, his voice is filled with concern. I sighed and said, “I’m fine, it’s just that I can’t sleep.” Alexander tilted his head to the side and asked, “Why not Daniel?” I rubbed my face and said, “It’s nothing you have to worry about, it’s just a small matter, nothing much.” Alexander looked at me sceptically and asked, “Are you sure it is just a small matter, Daniel? I mean you literally told me that “small matter” of yours is keeping you awake.” I do not know what came over me but I snapped, “I don’t want to talk about it okay? So stop asking, anyways it is none of your business.” Hurt is evident in Alexander’s eyes, I was mentally kicking myself for saying that to him, and after all, he is just looking out for me. I apologized, “I’m sorry Alexander I didn’t mean to say that, I was just exhausted. I know you are just looking out for me.” Alexander smiled and said, “It’s alright, Daniel. I understand I won’t pry any further but if you have anything that is troubling you, you can always tell me.” I said, “Thanks Alexander for caring about me.”  
  
Alexander hugged me and said, “Of course I care about you, Daniel.” I said sadly, “No one really cared about me, not even my own parents. The only person that cared about me as much I cared about them is my sister, Hazel.” I just wish my sister was right here by my side, I am sure she would love to explore this castle with me. Too bad the adventures Hazel and I always talked about together whenever I visited her will never be accomplished, why her of all people? I guess it is fate doing its job but to be honest, I still miss her very much after so long. I did not know I was crying until Alexander used his thumb to brush away the tears rolling down my already dampened cheeks.  
  
“Don’t cry Daniel, I don’t like to see you sad,” Alexander said. I sniffed and said, “I’m sorry I can’t help it, I just miss her so much after so many years. I never got to go out on an adventure with just me and her alone, I have always wanted to go out on an adventure with someone I love and care about but I never got a chance to.” Alexander placed a hand on my shoulder and reassured, “Don’t worry, Daniel I am sure you will have a chance to.” I looked at him with hope in my eyes and asked, “Really?” He nodded his head, I smiled and hugged him tightly. Alexander laughed and hugged me back tightly.  
                                                                                                                     

* * *

Alexander decided to sleep beside me to help me sleep, at first I protested but I gave in after that. I crawled into the covers, later on, Alexander joined me in bed. Alexander wrapped his arms around me, I snuggled into his chest and fell asleep after a while. Just when I thought my sleep will be peaceful, a dream setting started to form in my mind. Shadow appeared in front of me, he crossed his arms and asked, “Why are you sleeping beside Alexander?” I sighed and said, “I can’t sleep so he is helping me.” Shadow sighed and said, “Why can’t you sleep?” I sighed in frustration, “He said he loves me and you love me too, I don’t know who I should be with…”  
  
Shadow clenched his fists and yelled, “No he will not take you away from me, you are all I have.” I reassured him, “Don’t worry Shadow, I still haven’t decided who to be with.” Shadow shook his head vigorously and said, “No you don’t understand, Alexander will do anything to win you over. That is why I wanted you to come back home.” I promised, “I will come back home soon Shadow, don’t worry.” Shadow snickered and said, “Yeah come back home in another man’s arms, no thanks.” I said, “Come on Shadow don’t be like that, you do know that is not true.” Shadow sneered, “It will be true sooner or later, and I’m just telling you in advance.” I rolled my eyes and said, “Don’t be so pessimistic, who knows I’ll come back home sooner than you think.”  
  
Shadow looked at me skeptically and said, “Yeah right, I don’t believe you.” I held both of Shadow’s hands and said, “Trust me Shadow, I will come back home. Just not now but soon.” Shadow scoffed and said, “Fine, I trust you, just don’t break my trust alright?” I nodded my head and said, “Mark my words Shadow, I will come back home.”  
                                                                                                                               

* * *

I woke up and let out a long yawn, Alexander walked into my room and asked, “Did you sleep well?” I smiled and thanked him for accompanying me, Alexander said, “No worries Daniel, anything for you.” I blushed and looked away from Alexander, he laughed and said, “Daniel there isn’t anything to be embarrassed about and plus you look cute when you are blushing.” My face turned red a few shades darker, I stuttered, “St…stop making me blush…” Alexander smirked and said, “You look cute when you blush.” I avoided eye contact, Alexander lifted my chin and said, “Look at me, Daniel.”  
  
I was mesmerized by his ocean blue eyes, I could not help but keep staring and staring. Before I know it, Alexander’s lips are on mine.


End file.
